Catholic Schoolgirl

"I liked the last outfit better, cause it had that Catholic schoolgirl feel."

So, to please the man, I went out and purchased three green and blue plaid mini-skirts, a bag of white knee hi's, five slightly too-tight white shirts with Peter Pan collars (and one green turtleneck), along with two pairs of very shiny patent leather loafers. At the Eagle Brand School Supply store they were a bit surprised when I asked to try the skirts on, but it was the middle of the year and business was slow: and the much too attentive man behind the counter said "you look good in a skirt."

I also chose a St. Mary's blazer, girl's size 14 - I'm not sure where St. Mary's is, but if its got both the Saint and Mary thing going, it's got to be good. I bought full-size bloomers, and an embarrassingly tight training bra at Macy's and finished it off with a set of Hello Kitty barettes at Savon and a 24K gold splurge of a crucifix at the local bodega. He's my Jesus too.

Later, at home, I scrubbed my face to a splotchy red, twisted what hair I could into two ponytails behind my ears, and donned the whole ensemble. Silverwire twisted around my teeth fulfilled that braces look, and I found a nice small pair of black glasses that slid down my nose for the full eigth-grade effect.

Catholic School Girl.
I wanna be you
I wanna live like you all my life
Catholic School Girl
You can be naughty or nice.

Who has touched you?
Will you give it up? Teasing with your little smile.
Underneath the skirt are you up to no good
Will you make the ruckus worthwhile

Answer teacher...
Are you wiggling? rocking back and forth in your chair
Making up the no and yes, giggling at the size of it
Yesterday you wrote on the wall that you loved me
That's not fair

CAtholic School Girl
I aspire to you
I'm gonna stay just like you all my life
Catholic School Girl
Catholic Fun Girl
Catholic Anytime Pearl in An Oyster
I'll be just like you
I'll be just like you
I'll be just like you
For the rest of my life


Searching Out the End

Lee is looking toward the next.
Lee looks for the rhythm to accelerate.
Lee hears the change of the sunset to from russet to black.
Lee hunts down sound, conjures images, harnesses words and plays with yesterday.
Lee waits for the rain to never end.
Lee is a searcher.
Lee dreams of the physics of the cosmos
Lee moves through theoretical indifference
Lee slices the moments into comprehensible bits.
Lee puzzles for patterns in the pieces
Lee is a searcher.
Lee looks for heart in the face of a dog.
Lee gives her heart away in hopes of a kiss.
Lee loses her way in the wishes of people who don’t wish for her.
Lee ties bows on empty packages,
Lee misses love in front of her nose.
Lee is a searcher.
Lee saves piles of read and unread books
Lee knows the answer is out there, and in here.
Lee forgets to remember, and remembers what she forgot.
Lee believes in what has disappeared and then mysteriously reappeared.
Lee sits poised on the edge of this and that, yes and no, stop and go.
Lee is a searcher.
Lee wonders what it would be like to live forever.
Lee wonders what it means to be good enough and believe it.
Lee wonders why the dreary news is the news that make the news
Lee wonders about the soul of possibility in every soul.
Lee wonders what it’s all about.
Lee is always searching.
Lee feels like a fool.
Lee escapes to a mountain top in her head.
Lee hurries to hide her thoughts in everyday chatter
Lee lives in speeding traffic lanes and drive-thru days.
Lee gets tired of searching.
Lee really likes the sound of her son’s footsteps.
Lee relishes his head on her shoulder.
Lee loves his soft stuffed tiger in his sleeping arms.
Lee slows down to be alive.
Lee stops searching.